It's so difficult being evil these days... what, with that spoiled Prince turned Regicidal Lich holed up in that frozen glacier up north and all... Who died and made him Oedipus Rex? Or that vain, Arayan Blood Elf that's pretending to rule that hunk of rock known as 'Outland.' God knows what he's doing, playing the vain magical mad scientist out there... He's probably melting the heads off of female Blood Elf dolls and frying lost dranei with magnifying glasses. But you know it just has to be pure evil if he gets his own patch and fortress replete with multiple winged dungeons. That's evil to the third, or fifth, or however many wings he has.
And here we are, wandering around Azeroth, trying to get a level 10 Dranei Shaman to cower at our feet. The people we beat up for lunch money are lucky to have two flipping silver on them. One of our biggest evil accomplishments to date has been killing three vikings who fell off the pages of Cunegonde' s Astreix comic book and landed in Uldaman. Our evil, denoted by the same symbol that will mark Barry Bonds' eventual home run record.
And we didn't even take steroids.
Well, we had an opportunity for some real, pure evil tonight, when level 20, Princess Peaches stepped into the free-for-all of the Gurubashi Arena with evil lackeys--or lacking evil--Hunk and Sovain to get the treasure chest and the +5 stamina trinket. Giving this reward to a level 20 Paladin is funny and evil in its own right.
But it's not nearly as funny and evil as then killing said paladin until her res timer exceeds her level.
A failure to see this is what separates the evil lackeys from the evil geniuses. At a time when so many evils are diverting the world's attention from us, we could've used some cheap publicity--a screenshot of the level 20 Paladin attmepting to bubble hearth out of the arena and away from her own guildmates.
That's the sort of evil that you can't teach. That's the sort of evil that the world respects and admires with awe. That's the sort of evil that takes names like 'Illidan' and 'Oedipus'... er 'Arthas' off of people's tongues and puts yours on it.
Unfortunately, it seems that's the sort of evil that only I am capable of. Evil help, it's just so hard to find these days.
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2 comments:
Asterix... LOL... haven't thought about those books in years.
Maybe I should read them again. Oh so funny.
There are a few things you can count on with me... Obscure references, (intentionally) mixed metaphors and strained analogies, stuff like that.
I've haven't even started to go to the well yet. I think that Magic the Gathering, Rush, Family Guy, and Bret Hart will find their way into whatever the next post happens to be.
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