An Open Letter to Frenzy Battlegroup Alliance

Dear Alliance Players in the Frenzy Battlegroup:

Please, allow me to offer you a laurel and a hearty handshake for a job well done. You know how to lose battlegrounds like champs. For that, I, along with the rest of the Horde in the Frenzy battlegroup, am truly thankful.

Watching you guys futilely attack our flag carrier in Warsong Gulch as I heal them, while leaving me alone never gets old. The same goes for when me and one damage class hold a node 2 v 4 in Arathi Basin. I admit, your failure and ineptitude, even when the numbers are even--or you outnumber us by one or two--is so mind boggling that I'm left with more questions than answers. Some of those questions include:

What is it like to ride the short bus to the battlegrounds? Do the few horde it occasionally drops off make it really crowded? Or is the 'short' bus the price humans and night elves pay for their alliance with the dwarves and gnomes?

When during the Obama administration do you expect to get your first PvP epic? Is even money on Frenzy alliance winning 10 Warsong Gulch's that I'm in (you have two, and I PvP a lot) before the US withdraws from Iraq too generous to Alliance PvPers?

Can I talk you into making characters named after infamous pro wrestling jobbers? Seeing toons with names like 'Brooklyn Brawler,' 'Barry Horowitz,' 'Villano V (or III, or IV),' 'La Parka,' 'El Dandy,' 'Barry Darsow,' 'Lenny Lane (did he ever give his Loverboy CD back to Chris Jericho?)' and the like might leave me laughing hard enough that you'd get a flag cap or two.

And finally, one simple question: Did you eat paint chips when you were a child?

Thank you for all the easy wins and honor. But please, I'd rather have fun in the battlegrounds, not mocking you outside.

Sincerely,

Zarkon
Evil King, The Priest Who Heals in Battlegrounds, and Leader of the Voltron Force