Served by Aquitane

Sometimes the greatest of us end up with egg on our face. It's one of those things that comes with being supremely awesome that really doesn't get talked about, mostly because it would discourage people from being awesome. Who wants to be awesome if it means getting served? Exactly. Well, here's the story.

Aquitane (David) is starting a play-by-email game of Diplomacy (the single greatest board game ever created). If you're not familiar with it, clicky. The reason it's so great--it involves virtually no luck--there are no dice. Everything that happens, happens because of the conscious decisions of others in how they choose to order their units, who they ally with and who they attack. Each player has equal opportunity to influence the other players in the "Diplomacy" phase. Nothing in the outcome of the game is random.

The only random element is what country you play. In a live game, we traditionally draw out of a coffee mug or something. In a play-by-email game, David decided it would be best to give me a random list of the 7 powers and then assign them based on the order in which people replied to his invitation to play. He told me the list. My coveted England was sixth.

So, gaming the system like awesome people do, I timed my e-mail to arrive sixth. It actually arrived sixth. So I get to sip on tea in London, right? Not so fast.

David then turned around and told another player that he was really going to assign powers in the reverse order of the list that he gave me. Instead of England, I play the dreaded Austria--no naval outlets and surrounded on every side. I get to fight over the Balkans. Yay?

Statistically, Austria is the most eliminated power in games. Awesome.

So, not only did I get fooled by David, but I got fooled into taking the statistically worst power in the game. I have precious little doubt that England and Austria were diametrically arranged as such (and thereby accuse David of violating the random choice of powers rule--he needed to draw his 7 out of a hat). But that's here nor there. I got served.

But because I'm awesome, I'm going to go win the game with Austria.